Well. Fuck…
Has your mom ever emailed you saying, “I might be going to jail.”?
Mine just did.
She has to go to Texas on the 29th to talk about her fine. The worst case scenario is that they’ll put her in jail.
Or, she could be put into a Halfway house…thing, and pay off her fine.
OR, they might let her go home and pay off her fine.
The way her life is going? I’d say it’s one of the top two.
I don’t know what to feel at this point. Her emails still open but I don’t have a word for a reply. What am I supposed to say?
“Oh gee mom, I’m sorry. I’m sure they’ll send you home! YEA! GOTTA THINK OMPTIMISTICALLY!”
I am getting ready.to.fucking.scream.
OF ALL FUCKING TIME TO FUCKING TO PULL THIS SHIT.
IT’S FUCKING PISSING ME OFF! I’M TIRED OF THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT. IT’S GETTING OLD. “I’M SORRY FOR ALL THE PAIN AND PROBLEMS I’VE CAUSED YOU?” IF YOU WERE FUCKING SORRY YOU’D GET YOUR FUCKING ACT STRAIGHT. YOU’D FUCKING GO TO GAMBLERS ANON. YOU’D FUCKING *TRY* INTEAD OF FUCKING COMPLAINING ALL THE GODDAMN TIME. I’VE FUCKING TRIED AND TRIED AGAIN TO FUCKING HELP YOU. BUT EVERYTIME SOMEONE FUCKING TRIES TO DO THAT, YOU FUCKING IGNORE THEM! YOU WANT A FUCKING SOLUTION? GO TO FUCKING JAIL! MAYBE YOU’LL FUCKING STRAIGHTEN UP AFTER FUCKING BEING IN THERE! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. MAYBE IF YOU’RE AWAY FROM YOUR CHILDREN, AWAY FROM THE PEOPLE YOU FUCKING LOVE, MAYBE THEN YOU’LL REALIZE, “OH FUCK. I REALLY SCREWED THIS SHIT UP.”
I AM FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS FUCKING STUPID BULLSHIT. ALL SHE FUCKING DOES IS PULL THIS SHIT.
“OH PRAY FOR ME.”
HOW ABOUT I PRAY, INSTEAD, FOR A FUCKING MOM! THAT’S ALL I FUCKING WANT! IS MY MOM. BUT NO, SHE’S GOING TO *FUCKING GODDAMN TEXAS* AND SHE MIGHT NOT BE COMING BACK FOR A WHILE!
THIS.IS.FUCKING.BULLSHIT!
ALL MY LIFE, I’VE HAD TO HEAR ABOUT PEOPLE’S FUCKING MOMS. MY OWN DAD’S MOM JUST DIED. AT LEAST SHE WAS ACTUAL FUCKING THERE FOR HIM AND RIVAL. MY MOM? NO, SHE’S IN FUCKING *TEXAS*
FUCKING.TEXAS.
SHE’S NOT FUCKING CARING ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK I FEEL. NO, SHE’S ALWAYS FUCKING CONCERNED ABOUT *HER* SHE CAN SAY ME AND MY BROTHERS ARE HER WORLD, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
*SHE’S* HER OWN FUCKING WORLD.
AND I’M FUCKING SICK.AND.TIRED.OF.IT.
FUCK.HER.
(maybe some that shit was unfair. But I don’t care. I am fucking PISSED.)
(And of all weekends, when Duo is in the city. FUCK!)
