Killing cliche's as fast as you invent them.

First off.

Dear Chick who said I have crap plastered all over my face,

I am deeply sorry that your mommy and daddy choose not to let you take part in ’self-expression’.
However, my daddy does. So kindly fuck off. I will wear what make -up I want to wear.  And at that, I do not wear a lot of make up as is. I usually wear eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara and lipgloss.

I do not do a cakeface. I can’t even be arsed half the time to put on the mineral powder crap.

I take pride in my eyeshadow, fuckface. I think it’s pretty and colorful.Just because you choose to be bland, and boring does not mean I  have to be! I take great pride in BEING MY OWN PERSON.

So next time you feel my make up is ‘too loud’ or too much ‘crap on my face’, please, tell me more to my face so I may ignore it in the order with which it is recieved.

Thank you,

Selphie

Dear N,

Look, you’re my friend. You’re a complete fuckin jackass, but you’re still a friend.

But look.

You are a complete fucking creepy jackass.

and I mean creepy.

Who the hell goes up to a girl, and says, “So, you gonna suck [her boyfriend’s name]’s dick?”

Uh, wtf? Creepy much? Seriously? and you WONDER WHY YOU CAN’T GET A GIRLFRIEND.

Being perverted for ‘laughs’ is a fine art that I take part in. Stop fucking it up and being creepy, fuckface. Otherwise I will be the one throwing the insults towards you and I can guarantee you will be crying like the little bitch you can be.

Thanks! See you at lunch!

Selphie

Dear Lunch Lady at ASM,

Hiiii, I’m the girl with the rainbow clip in my hair! I’m bisexual and daaammnn proud of it!

And I agree with my friend that, in my opinion, all humans are inherently bisexual deep down inside.

Because at the end of day in my opinion, human beings are sexual little fuckers, and if we stripped away all the excess, we really wouldn’t give two shits who we fucked.

My opinion!

But you know what? Don’t care if someone’s offended by it! So, if you happen to be offended by it - that’s great! Don’t try to TELL me what to say or not to say! Ohh, I understand, you was just tryin’ be diplomatic, huh? Some people might be offended by me stating my opinion, huh?

Well! I’m just darn offended by people telling me, “Well! you’re going to hell for wanting to have sex with women!”

But you know, psh, what does THAT matter? I’m offended by people calling me a boy because I have the balls to cut my hair short, (which btw, I look more feminine then girls with LONG hair so uh, fuck off.).

But no, me stating my own personal opinion about something, you know that might actually be true when you just get down to the nitty and gritty.

Well gosh darn it! That just ain’t RIGHT now is it?

Well, fuck you Ms. Lunch Lady. If you’re so uncomfortable in your own sexuality well! I am indeeeeeed sorry.

But really, I could give two shits less. It just further proves my point.

Thanks, and btw, the grilled cheese looked nasty. Cookies were good though.

Selphie

Dear Guy in Line who wanted to pop one of my balloons.

No, dickwad. You cannot. They are MY balloons. I do not even KNOW your dumbass.

You’re lucky I didn’t know you. Because if I had, instead of the polite, “No..sorry.” you got I would’ve said, “No, fuck off dipshit.” like every one of my friends got.

And, may I ask, are you the kind gentleman that said, “Psh, wouldn’t let a black man pop her balloon.”

Uh, wtf? NO ONE, IS GOING, TO POP MY MOTHERFUCKING BALLOONS. I fucking like balloons, I do not want them to pop.

I kicked, my motherfucking ex-boyfriend in the shin, because the fucker tried to pop it.

Do not pull the stupid race card on me jackass. They are my balloons, I don’t even KNOW you, so no, I’m not gonna let you pop my balloon.

Fuck off, and leave my balloons ALONE.

Thank you!

Selphie

Incidentally, I actually managed to get through a lunch period without my balloons popping. I hurt my toe in the process (by kicking above ex-boyfriend in the shins. Stupid mofo.) but goddamn it, I am so sick and tired of those fuckers trying to pop them, or popping them on ‘accident’.

Fuuucckkkk aalll yaaaaa”lllllllss.

kay?

Other then that, my day went fine for the most part. Wrote a really good poem at ASM.

and now, I  am thirsty so I must depart.

bye.

Selphie

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 17th, 2009 at 10:25 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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