and you can always get awesome stuff out of them if they are in awe of you…so there is a good thing to being awed

All those feelings and emotions you have towards your mother, I know exactly how you feel. Thankfully my Father raised me from the time I was about 5 years.

It’s sad our Mothers aren’t what they are/were suppose to be to us. But we can live a happy life and be the people *WE* need to be and not let them interfere or make us unhappy or upset.

*IF* you ever talk to her via phone or inperson and she starts doing things/sayings that that upset you or hurt you and cause you to want to scream/yell at her. Just calmly say “Mother, I can not talk to right now. I’m getting upset. I’ll talk to you later” and hang up the phone. Or walk away. If she tries to call you back, just ignore the phone. Turn off the ringer. Go to a peaceful place in your house/the area and just think peaceful thoughts and take deep breaths until you feel the emotions passing.

Probly nothing you wanna hear from a complete stranger, but they. I see a kindred spirit and someone maybe that I can help boost your day, I’m gonna give it a shot.

I’ve been exactly where you are now. About 10 years ago. I suppose in some ways, its better and worse that it’s happening to you earlier than it did with me.

Better, because you wont wind up bitter in your full adulthood, and worse, because you are still finding out who you are, and what you are.

But, take heart: while I have dealt with, and been there through all the shit, I can tell you it’s easy to be jaded…it takes a bit of bravery to not allow yourself to be consumed by it.

I nearly was, and youve seen what it did to me. Use me as an example of what not to do. =)

But, yea. Like I said, Shey was always more interested in people on online, like with PP.
D=

But, yea.
=X

Seraph and I do go out into the world. I happen to like it a whole lot. I know you’re wary, as you have a right to be. But, you have to remember that Seraph is a different person, and it’s dangerous to make comparisons.

Seraph does not pull me away, she’s a good person who *motivates* me to be with her, and do things with her because of who she is, and what she’s about.

You should also consider, she has shown a remarkable amount of personal integrity and put her money where her mouth is, when it comes to how she feels: despite the hassle, she comes to see me because she understands how much my responsibilities keep me from just up and doing things sometimes.

But, yeah, she’s a great woman. But, ive resisted the urge to make comparisons. Because Seraph is such a cool person, it would be unfair. When you make comparisons, you run the risk of making that person feel as though they have to hit some arbitrary bar that only you know.

But you are mostly spot on, and it’s good to know your feelings on this. Keep it up. I like knowing where you stand. =)

Great book. I just want to say what a fantastic thing you are doing! Good luck!

Bye